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September 29, 2008

This week, perhaps, will be the smallest working week for me. I am with plans of going to Hubli on Wednesday. Thursday is a holiday and I am going to apply for a leave on Friday. Saturday and Sunday are off days. So, I will get a good 4 days for a visit to Hubli. Its been long that I have gone home. I am kind of dying to go to Hubli. Only I know how I am missing the most valuable part of my life, rather my life. However, I am having a mental hurdle as well. The purpose of coming here to Bengaluru with no intimation to anyone is to go back and surprise everyone. However, it has not been served yet. Our interviews are not over. Things have turned very awkward. In fact, we were told that we will get the offer letter within 1-2 weeks of joining but its almost 3 months now and nothing is done. Things are postponed beyond limits. Our course, which should have got over by now, seems to run up to 24th or 29th of October, i.e., 17 or 22 days extra time.

Further, there is nothing confirming jobs for us yet. Our joining is nowhere known or even talked about. The previous batch sat home for 2 months after the course before joining the internship. So, its really adding to my woes. Due to this, I am a little confused over moving to Hubli for I can’t answer anything about whats happening in Bengaluru. Till now, my life here is a top secret. No one except my parents have an idea of this. I only hope I do not become a disaster in lieu of a surprise. I really do not know what I will get from IFBI or what I will get when I tell people about what I got. Its the greatest dilemma.

Sometimes, I feel I did a mistake by not informing. Sometime, I feel surprises are good. Had it been a 6 months course or more, I would have definitely informed. However, for this being just 3 months and due to the promise that we will get the offer letter within 2 weeks of joining, I decided to take this risk. I thought I will go back after 2 weeks with the offer letter to Hubli. That 2 weeks turned to 3, 4, 5, 6 & so on and even after 3 months, all I have is zero. I have no face to return to Hubli.

Someone has truly said, ‘Don’t lie ever for whatever reason. 1 lie leads to a 1000 lies and life becomes a hell’. Someone else has said, ‘Tell a 100 lies if you are certain of doing something good to the world’. I was confused on who to follow. I always lie (these are actually not lies. For example, you want to surprise your friend on birthday. You will never tell him/her that you are waiting at restaurant to celebrate birthday. You cook some story and when he/she comes, you surprise them with the cake) to surprise people. However, this delay in surprising has created a lot of negative suspense that can be an obstacle. I only hope things will be taken in the right perspective.

Hmm.. Lets see what God has planned for us.

Signing off for the day.

September 30, 2008

There were just a couple of classes today to revise the RB-II portion so that we are prepared for the coming test. Things are getting a little dull over here. I believe, the reason is that no one is getting answers to their questions about placements. In fact, there is nothing to blame anyone. The world is facing a recession. The banking and financial services industry is worst hit by all this. So, things are not smooth. In such cases, we cant help it. But then, we cant even afford to accept these reasons and keep quiet for the kind of money, time and energy lost in the last couple of months. I am terribly upset due to everything. On one side are these issues, on the other side are questions from family and on another side are the unanswered questions of life. I had set things with a perspective of 3 months. Everything went on fine till now as planned. However, all of a sudden, things have tumbled.

I know that things will get right and everything will go fine. There is no doubt about this. But then, it will take time. And time is the only thing which is the obstacle that I don’t want to face. There is panic built in me now.

Signing off for the day.

October 01, 2008

The Fifth Monthly Test on Retail Banking-II completed today. Everyone performed well. I was among the top performers.

Tomorrow is the birthday of Ajeya Mandyam, coincidently, Gandhi Jayanthi too. As it is a holiday, we celebrated his birthday today. And for Ajeya, it was no surprise. He is a big celebrity, you know. Kidding 🙂

Well, I am leaving to Hubli today and I shall be coming back on Monday. I am so happy to be going back. Only I know how I have spent these 3 months.

Signing off for the day.