After a very long time…

Its been over a week that I wrote on the blog. In fact, seriously speaking, I did not write anything about my life from around 1 month. The recent posts were some promotional write ups. I just thought, let me complete at least this work

Its been an ocean of pains all along. Disturbance, irritation, frustration, sadness, hopelessness, lost, not interested, problems, etc have been the words for January 2008. Nothing is moving smooth and the struggle has been getting worse each moment. Struggle for everything in life. Yet again, the positions indicate that I have failed, rather, failed badly

To begin with, people around me. I dont consider it right to expose everything to everyone. So, I will just say that, I am very much disturbed with whatever is happening. No one understands their responsibilities. The people meant to cook, dont cook. The people meant to work, dont work. The people meant to study, dont study. There is nothing to blame them either as things have been moving the same wrong paths ever since things began. And every effort to drive them into the right paths have gone into vain

Nextly, academics. I have received my CA results and my performance has worsened. I have failed again in that
I did not even write the CWA exams as I knew, I would fail in that too
BCom results have also been hurting

As far as business or earning options are concerned, its been another sad side. I have not been able to get a single LIC policy from over 6 months. Equity trading, too, has also given a very bad kick and put me out of the ground with the recent market crash

What has been more hurting is, I have spent almost 90% of my efforts in solving such problems which were not problems at all. I could never concentrate on the real problems of life. The fight was meaningless and ingenuine

After a lot of effort, things appear a bit OK now. However, its too late. What can I do now? Whats left out?
CA is almost an endgame
CWA is yet again the same
MCom, no value
MBA, dont have enough penny in the kitty
Job, how much will I earn?
Business, no capital. Capital givers want all the profits
Higher education, not possible as the current situation doesnt permit me
LIC, good option. But cant depend all life on it. Moreover, new business will come only in 2009 when all my friends start earning and that too, if they lend a helping hand
Everything is out of order, YET AGAIN!!!

I remember, the situation had arisen after my Class XII exam. All options were deleted by me in the same way and I lost heavily. I didnt go for engineering, cancelled the option of BSc or BCA, left studies entirely, went in search of work, returned back, joined BCom. However, I was happy that, even after so much of problem, I started a new life with a bang and things got well. I topped the university in BCom exams, cleared the first stage of CA and CWA and started taking big leads all over. However, due to all hurdles that started coming on the way, mainly financial and thereby, mental and emotional, worsened things and have bought life into another dilemmna again

However, finally, I have come down to some serious decisions. I have cleared my CDS exams and waiting for the SSB call letter. Just in case, I clear the interview, I will blindly join the forces. I am sure, my life will get back a direction to work for. And once I have a direction, I will hit the bulls eye. Currently, my life has many directions like people, home, work, studies, etc and I cant ignore any of these. However, once I join the forces, I will need to worry only about work and rest of the problems will automatically get solved except one problem. And this one problem is the main culprit for spoiling everything in the life of everyone. If I decide not to join the Army, it will be only because of this problem. But then, I am not much worried about the Army as I believe in one quote
There are 2 things in this universe that a human cant decide upon
1. With whom will (s)he marry?
2. Will (s)he join the Army or not?
These are done by the God
So, its upto God now

Nextly, the other option is, a job in the banking sector. I will do something and somehow join a bank. The advantages of this are
1. Good network of customers/clients. Supportive for LIC business
2. Direct contact with big parties. Supportive for MF business
3. Good pay and good growth
4. CA and CWA can be continued
5. MBA through correspondence can also be done

Seeing all this, I believe, a job in a bank will again set back my career to a bed of roses and will also help in solving the problem we are facing. However, I dont know why, my heart says, I shall be in the Army soon. And honestly, I would be the happiest if this happens. Its always been my dream to be in the Army and seeing this dream come true will be a very satisfying and happy moment

For the moment, let me get back to setting the things that remain unset and upset…

Ab kya karein…

Well, the 5th sem exams for BCom are over
And as mentioned earlier, even CA exams, CAT, CDS, etc have also said ALVIDAAA… Thank God

I just thought I will have a look at my performance check

.

As for as CA exams are concerned, it was a nightmare. Those 6 subjects are just hell. I was just praying God to help me cross over these as soon as possible. I know I am going to flunk in this exam. But I am not bothered much because that doesn’t have much relevance to me. I started this CA race with a lot of plans and a commitment to seriously make a career in this. But things have not shaped up as I expected due to which I have not been able to concentrate into this. But then, picture abhi khatam nahi hua hai…

.

CAT, Hmmm…, waste of Rs 1100 (form fees) + 40 (courier charges) + 700 (Going to B’lore to write exams and back). Thus, a total loss of Rs. 1840 . I just feel that it was a nice trip to Bangalore. Not that nice too. In fact, I was not even able to meet many of my friends. Just Kudda Mallya, Gurya n RD. Because of the lack of time and the urgency to return back the next day because of the BCom exams, I had to rush. The exam was on sunday and BCom exams would commence from monday. I had taken a reservation for the return journey by Channamma Express that night. However, I thought I will come back in the afternoon and cancel the ticket. But then, I changed my mind as one of my friend, Deepak, was also at Bangalore. I went to his uncle’s house where he had haulted. We studied for some time. We were so tired that our eyes were almost getting closed each moment. In the evening, we went out to get a cell phone for his uncle. And then, we went to the railway station. I got a free upgrade to AC 3 tier. And you won’t believe, we were 4 in the train, all in different bogies. There were around 800 people travelling like us. A few lucky people (around 30) got this upgrade. And we all were in that lucky list. Moreover, I was actually in the waiting list. It was a good journey. And yeah, not to forget, we continued studying for the next day’s exam, Financial Management

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CDS was a an unexpected strike. I never thought I will write this exam. But I dont know how and why, I just went on, took the form, mailed it, wrote the exam. It was OK. What I feel is, I have performed well, but I may not be able to qualify into the top few who get the call for interview. I was surprised to find some of my SSBJ friends at the test. In fact, we are built for this and defence is in every Ajeet’s blood but unfortunately, not all have it in their fate. Keshav and Vinay surprised me by their presence in the exam. In fact, they were more surprised to see me there. It was a very hectic exam. 3 papers on a single day. It started from 9 am and ended at 5 pm. 9 to 11, 12 to 2, 3 to 5. Sounds like some primary exam timings. But then, the level of difficulty is too high. It is no less than an IAS exam. In fact, it should have been more competitive if more Indians were interested in defence. Aayega, aayega, yeh din bhi jaroor aayega jab log defence ko ek career ke taur pe treat karenge. Its a nobel profession with great honors. I’d love to be into it. But these days, as things have taken a new shape, I am not able to deeply think about this

Then the big boss, BCom. I have always been saying, Life has become a bloody hell because of this. Not because of the exams, but because of this course. The course is very good but we never learnt it. Hardly, any classes are being conducted in the college. Teachers hain tho students nahi aur students hai to teachers nahi. Further, this being the college in the heart of the city and famous for its notorious activities, you can imagine, what is the fate of the people here. Hardly does anyone comes to teach or learn. Its more like a club than a college. But then, we love it. There is no one to be blamed for this. Parampara hai bhai! 1947 main yeh college ka birth hua hai. Shayad issi liye, British log bhi yahaan se bhaag gaye… 60 years of existence now. Almost 90% of the students are all children of businessmen. They are nowhere bothered about life. Because, this is not going to matter them at all. Let they fail or pass, their ultimate destination is the shop, wherein, they have to continue to family business. Tho, college kyun aathe hain? Arey bhaiyaa, shaadi ke time Graduation ka certificate bhi hona hai na. Nahin tho, ladki inse bhi experienced bann jaayegi…

Oh! My exams. They were good. Not that good as I perform everytime. But considering the fact that I had not studied a single word, it was better than my expectations. I am expecting the following scores in the exams. These are the minimum expectations and I am definitely going to get more than this for sure
Auditing- 53/80
Financial Management- 49/80
Computers- 53/80
Tax Procedures- 52/80
Entrepreneurship- 62/80
Statistics I- 70/80
Statistics II- 39/80
Aggregate- 378/560, ie, an average of 54 out of 80 per subject
Internal marks expected (at 18 per subject)- 126 out of 140
Total marks- 504
Percentage- 72%
This is the minimum score expected by me in the exams. So, my score will be higher than this

Ab kya karein???

Now the next big thing in my life is NCFM exams

As they are scheduled on 8th and 9th of this month, I just have 3 days for them. I need to put in the best and clear these exams. And then, I need to concentrate on trading and LIC sales too. Hmmm… hectic life na!!!

Chalo, let get back to work

Kal kare so aaj kar, Aaj kare so ab
Pal mein parlay hoyegi, bahuri karega kab

After a long time…

After a very long time, I am writing this blog post. All these I was not able to blog. Reason- I was either busy or I was lazy. Things seem very difficult. Life is moving on average lines. Lot of financial adjustments, commitments, etc. And with all this, my CA exams too have begun. Already completed 3 exams. Another 3 to go. No personal interest at all. All the hope, interest, etc is lost and nothing remains alive. Not even a single exam went fine. It pains a lot to feel all this but there is no option which I can exercise either. I have to suffer for all these pains. And yes, I have faced another very crucial problem in life. It was almost going to be a big blunder. Thanks to people that it was solved before it would give an end to my life. I can never forgive myself for all that has happened. All I can do is beg the God to forgive me. I know that I moved on some wrong paths. But those were situations that drove me. But today, I am happy that, with God’s grace and his support, I have overcome such mistakes by doing right things
We can not change the wrongs done by us and be good because facts can’t be changed. Yesterday has gone. Be it good or bad, happy or sad, beautiful or ugly, be it whatever, its over. Yesterday come to an end. It will never come
But then, there is a tomorrow waiting for you. A tomorrow which you can keep good, happy and beautiful too. We can’t change the facts of yesterday but we can build a strong today. And this strong today will make our tomorrow so strong that yesterday will lose its significance. And one fine tomorrow, you will find that, that bad yesterday has died. All that waits is a happy tomorrow
This is what I have learnt from this terrible experience. No one around me knows this because I never made anyone feel that I was ever in such a condition. I kept everything to myself and went on. A million thanks to people who helped me in solving this problem. And my heads down to the lord’s feet for his support in such times. There are some serious changes that I have inculcated in life. I shall get stronger on these and start revealing them with time

15 Sep 2007, Saturday, 3.30 pm

Jindagi ek aisi mod par chal rahi hai, jahaan, na hi kuch karne ka mann hai aur na hi kuch karna mumkin lag raha hai. Aisa lag raha hai jaise yeh pal jindagi ko maarkar mauth ko gale lag rahe hain. Kal se shuru ho rahi hai buddhi ki pariksha. Par isse badi hai yeh jindagi ki parikhsa jisme koi bhi kamyaabi nazar nahi aa rahi hai. Kab tak chalege aise hi yeh jindagi, kab tak rehna padege aise ek kamjor ki tarah

Life is just taking time. Its taking all the time that I have and not leaving anything to me. This battle for time and its efficient utility is going on since long. However, this time, its getting too tough. Today is Ganesh Chathurti. I just bought a new pen. I am yet again with a hope that, if I get going now, may be, I can do something. Tomorrow, I have the CDS examination. I am now searching for some sample papers and making attempt to update my general knowledge and familiarize with the paper pattern too

The woods are lovely, dark and deep

But I have promises to keep

Miles to go before I sleep

Miles to go before I sleep…

14 Sep 2007, 8 pm, what a life…

Well, its been around 2 days from the time I am planning to do something in life. However, I have been unable to even take the first step. Hmmm… they say, The first step itself is the most difficult thing, once it is taken, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, . . . . . . . will follow with ease. Thats why the saying, well begun is half work done. But unfortunately, I have been unable to take the step to get started. The initial kick is missing. Once the ball is kicked, it starts rolling. What is it, that has made me stuck with life? Why am i unable to move ahead? Why is it that such a strong mind has become so weak that its not even able to dare to start the work? There is a certain instability that the mind is facing now. When mind is not functioning in the right direction, nothing goes fine. Thats why we call state of mind as a decisive factor of our life. Whatever is lost will never be gained back. Today, if we lose a rupee, we will never get it back. Although we may get a crore rupess tomorrow, still, that one rupee is gone. So, whenever we lose something, we should lose it for something good and better. Life is not just about personal growth, its about the general well being. If we are eating unlimited when people are dying of hunger, it doesn’t mean anything. The world is our home and everyone here is like a family member. We ought to treat everyone equally

Coming back to my life, its a big mess up now. When I clean up things are put them up in the right order, I will be able to do something valuable. Till then, life is going to be a big challenge even to do the smallest thing

All I can do now is wait. Although time is running out like blood out of an wounded part with possibility of all the blood emptying out, I am in a helpless state of life till the required things gets restructured and the right movements begin

13 Sep 2007, midnight 12

The day went waste
Nothing was done

13 Sept 2007, 7.30 pm

12 hours have passed since the time I disclosed my plans and aims to start preparing. However, my habit of procrastination in the field of studies has caught me and I have been unable to even start up. And I also had my college internal exams. From morning 10 to 11, I waited for the library to open. When the library opened, all we did was discussions about the day’s cricket match. And then, exam begun and went on upto 4. I had to pick up my sir’s son and drop him to the station. This work binded me upto 6. A tired mind came back home by walk by 7. Oh! I forgot to mention, I have stopped using my vehicle for certain reasons which I will disclose when the time comes. I had a bath and now, writing this blog. My food is waiting for me. Let me at least start studying now

Update- 13 Sept 2007, 12 pm

Its 12 pm now and everything appears gloomy
I came to the college hoping that I will start up with the studies
However, unfortunately, things did not move fine and I am hooked with the computer spending some time lazily. Just have a small hope that I will start soon and get going
Lets see. Whats gonna happen…

Its 8.30 am, 13th September 2007…

Well, today is 13th September 2007, Thursday. Its 8.30 am now. I always have a feeling that 13 is my lucky number but I don’t know how far this feeling is true
Lets have a look at what my astrology says today and try to predict what is going to happen
At Yahoo! Astrology, I found the following
A small change you made weeks ago has created huge improvements you’ll see today. You’re going to need to try something a little different to handle your debt issues. Even if you’re not buried under a mountain of plastic, you still need to handle the situation with a bit more finesse. A small change you made weeks ago has created a huge improvement in your life, and you will start noticing the rewards of your efforts today. Very soon, you’ll be able to kick back, put your feet up, and let someone else worry about things for a while. Being passive isn’t a character flaw … it’s an element of every balanced person’s personality. Your quest for balance has been very successful, and this is one of the few final elements to incorporate into your life. When a veritable map of possible roads opens up before you, the potential routes may be daunting. Pull out your glasses, check your internal compass, and pick the path that best fits your career ambitions and goals
MSN Astrology says that
Today you could feel pushed and pulled by powerful personalities, Puneet. You may have a friend or acquaintance with a very assertive nature. This person could be in a particularly demanding mood. Or you might have family members who suddenly require lots of attention. If your phone is ringing off the hook and you keep getting dragged into long discussions, try to be patient. Stay focused and don’t panic!
So, in all, its going to be a difficult day in all respects, viz, physical, financial, mental, etc. And with all this, I have to begin my CA preparations too. So, What is Puneet planning to do today? Nothing new, the same thing that I plan to do everyday but have never been able to do- study. But then, its the most essential aspect of our lives and we got to achieve academic excellence for being bold in this modern world. So, I have to plan again and go on
Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam has said-”Dreams, dreams, dreams. Dreams turn into thoughts and thoughts turn into action”
So, its time dream again. Think again and start doing. So, what am I gonna do today? Lets make a rough estimate. I have to study around 4000 pages for the CA exams, around 40 chapters for BCom exams, around 1000 pages for the CAT exam. And hey, I am also giving my CDS exam on the coming Sunday. Plus, there are hell lot of activities like the College Youth Festival, Rotary Youth Festival, etc. And also the college internal exams, labs, etc which I can’t miss. So, how am I supposed to go ahead
Lets apply simple arithmetic. There are 4000 pages for CA exam and 1000 pages for CAT and I have 50 days to go. So, that should be 100 pages a day (4000+1000=5000, 5000/50=100). Sounds unrealistic, rather foolish
But whats the harm in trying out. If I am able to cover just 50 pages also, I can at least pass the exam. Come on man! ‘Where there is a will, there is a way.’ If the God has created a problem, he has also kept the solution ready. Now, let me stop here. I got to go for bath, get ready and get started on the mission. And yeah, I have to study at least 1 chapter (around 40 pages) of BCom also. So, it comes to around 140 pages a day.
Wish me all the best and let me put in my best. And I am sure, if I am able to put in my best, I will definitely yield the best too
Arise, awake and stop not till the goal is reached

My CA exam is coming soon…

To start it from the basics, I begun life with academic brilliance. However, as time passed, I started losing down on the field. But I never went below 80% till 5th standard

From then, I joined Sainik School, Bijapur. Life was a little tough there. And I was personally involved in activities of the school. My scores started moving good in the range of 70s. It was a good score considering the activities too. But all the activities have taught me life. I am grateful to that life

In 10th, I came back to track and scored pretty well. But again, in 11th and 12th, the responsibilities were high and I was unable to perform well in the academics

And unfortunately, I failed in Class 12th in 1 subject. But then, I cleared it the very next month through the compartment exams. Thus, it was not much disheartening

Life took a turn then. I joined a job and started working. I also continued studies through correspondence course from ICFAI

Yet again, a change happened and after everything (its a big story, will write later), I ended up in J G College of Commerce for my BCom and simultaneously joined the Chartered Accountancy course

Well, chartered accountancy, one of the most difficult academic courses, and me, doing it, there was no meaning in it. People laughed
But everyone got to know what I am when I cleared my PE-I exam in the first shot and scored a top 96% in my BCom exams

I also cleared the foundation exam of ICWAI

It was the beginning of another era of academic brilliance

Till May 2007, academic life went up with a full boom

However, my CA PE-II exam in May put a stop to everything

I could not clear the exam

My next attempt is due in Nov 2007

To be exact, its 50 days to go
And honestly, I am still blank about the exam. I am yet to begin my studies. I am yet to plan out things and get started. Some people who have been writing the exam for the past 3 or 4 years, have not yet cleared it. The syllabus is so tough and vast that it is not seriously possible to study in 1 year’s time too

And now, Puneet wants to complete it in 50 days and also, succeed in the exam. Only God knows what is cooking for me. But let me make some honest efforts and try my best. They say-Honest efforts always fetch fruits. Let me just get the passing marks. From now, I have decided to make efforts in this direction and track life and analyze how life is moving? I wish to know how time is moving out? I want to inquire why I have been unable to study for the exam? I want to introspect and learn from this

This is gonna be a great experience

And when I succeed, it will be a … no words to say that